This is tough

I'm not going to lie. This whole Medifast thing is TOUGH.

I lost a lot of weight a few years ago on Metabolic Research and it wasn't this tough, because I ate a lot more "real" food. I was able to have cheese, fruits like strawberries and apples, and a slice of bread twice a day if I wanted it.

This is a lot tougher. It's 5 pre-packaged meals plus one meat with lean protein and veggies. I'm not hungry, I just miss REAL food. Yes, my morning oatmeal is pretty darned good. I like it. The bars are fine. But I don't really love anything else. Oh wait, the cookie bake is decent. But still, I really miss "real" food.

I'm not even 2 weeks in yet. The first week was rough while getting used to my Metformin. Now I'm doing my best to stomach the food. And if I want to be successful, I have at least 6 more months of this, if not more.

The thing is, I KNOW this works. And I KNOW it will teach me good habits. And I KNOW I've already lost 10 lbs. I still don't have my head in it 100%.  I guess that sounds bad - my head is in it and I have been 100% dedicated to it, but I just feel like there's this big black cloud hanging over me where food is taunting me and I feel deprived. And I know that has caused problems in the past. I even DREAMED about going off program and eating a bunch last night. Sigh.

I start every day feeling pretty positive and eating my oatmeal (which is fabulous) and it goes downhill from there. When I hit 9:30 at night like it is now, I'm at my lowest.

I KNOW I can do this. I KNOW I need to do this. I just need to stay focused.