Therapy

So.

My life has been out of control lately. It's been out of control for a while, but it finally got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I signed off of social media for a couple weeks. I put down the phone. And, I found a therapist.

Well, that didn't go so well. She's very nice, but she's just not the right therapist for me. I did make some discoveries in the four sessions I've spent with her, but those discoveries led me to be certain that I needed a therapist that specializes in eating disorders.

I've known for years that I suffer from binge eating. I don't hide that. But I also haven't done the right things to fix that. Mainly because I can't afford rehab or therapy if it's too expensive. There are a million things going wrong in my life, but I finally needed to make cuts elsewhere in our budget in order to afford the therapy I need.

My initial therapist was covered by my insurance. My new therapist isn't. But she comes highly recommended, and that's more important to me right now. I'll only be able to go twice a month instead of weekly, but that is far better than not at all.

I joined a weight loss competition here locally with 25 other women. There's a prize for most weight lost and most inches lost, as well as personal achievement goals. It's a 10 week competition, and my goal is to lose 20 lbs. Hopefully with about 4 therapy sessions during that time I'll be able to stay focused and meet my goal.

I just want to find happiness with myself. I am not happy. I haven't been happy in a long time, and everything eventually comes back to my weight and the reasons I eat. I have to fix me, and I have to fix me soon.