Trying

Last Saturday I started a "biggest loser" type competition with 25 other ladies who live in my general area. I couldn't stay for the meeting last week because I had to run to work, but they also have a short meeting talking about strategies, what works, etc. It's a 10 week challenge with monetary prizes for the winners.

I've tried and failed in myriad ways in the past. I have come to the conclusion that I am done with "quick fixes" - the Medifast, Metabolic Research Center - those programs where you get your body into a fat burning phase and drop 2-5lbs a week. Sure, it's easy to lose weight and stay on program when it's falling off that fast, but once you eat off program *poof* it's gone. When you restrict yourself and can only eat certain foods, it makes it so easy to veer off course when you do allow yourself a cheat day.

So, I'm doing it the old fashioned way: diet and exercise. I haven't gotten a lot of exercise this week since my dad is in town and I'm trying to stick around home, but I'm using my Fitbit app to track my calories. I often find I have a lot left at the end of the day, but I am eating them.

Prior to starting this, I read a few articles about how we are restricting our calories TOO much and you need to base your caloric intake on your weight, not just arbitrarily choose to eat 1250 calories a day, whether you weigh 150 or 250. My caloric need is around 1900 calories a day right now. It varies depending on how much I move, which is where it's nice to have a Fitbit. On the days I have more activity, I'm allowed more calories. Pretty simple.

I have spent far too much of the last 10 years of my life counting points, measuring, whatever. I know I'm still counting calories, but I am hoping that it helps give me better insight into what the right amount of food feels like. I'm starting therapy with a new therapist on Wednesday night that specializes in eating disorders. I am hoping that this is what is going to make a difference. My eating disorder is the main cause of all my other issues. I know this because it affects every aspect of my life. My entire day can be controlled by it, and I'm tired of it.

So, I'm trying. I'm taking baby steps as I try to make a big change. I'm done with the quick fix. This is  marathon, not a sprint. It's going to take work, every single day of the rest of my life, but if it's the only way I'm going to be able to live a relatively happy life, it's work I need to try my best to do.